Everything I hope for

and you will be the one...

And you will be the one to say to my heart,

           ”Come out! Come out!

       It’s OK to breathe again.”

“Forget the past. It’s only the future that matters.”

“Was what happened before really that bad?”

         ”Surely

                    you are stronger now.”

And your gentle coaxing will bring my heart

        out of the cocoon where it was

hidden, (wrapped tightly in thoughts and logic and plans.)

      Wincing at the brightness of the sun.

       Reaching blindly

                                for your hand.

-Niah Jamerson

Acceptance!

"There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: "This is me, damn it!" I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love. I am a whole complex package. Take me...or leave me. Accept me -- or walk away. Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad -- you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you."

via "It Gets Better," Alma College

Get it. <3

I'm such a hypocrite.

(There's no need for an explanation, it's just the truth.)

It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song...

It's a blast, isn't it? Not knowing anything at all about life. Well, any of the important things anyway.

Yes, I'm only twenty but I'm getting to the point where I don't think I'm overreacting at all. It's becoming more and more obvious that I'm just floating by and not trying academically at all. Required readings are optional, homework is such a chore, writing papers seems like a waste of time, the Internet seems way better than what I've got going on here, friends are busy doing things that are important and well...I'm just not on the same page. I'm so tempted to take time off but I know I'll probably regret it. I'll be trapped in the hometown that I detest, and surrounded by people who I'd rather not be around.

But as they say, you don't know until you try... I feel like I'm losing my mind sitting around in the same place, doing the same things over and over again. At least break is coming and at least I did go to D.C. At least.

So if anyone asks, I'll say I'm fine. I'll say that this is only temporary. I'll say that college is wonderful.

Canadienne.

(aka: Canadian of the female variety in French.)

I started thinking about how Avril Lavigne has influenced my life for about 9 years. Amazing, huh? I mean, when she first started out, I was obsessed. I wanted to be as bad-ass as her, I just didn't know how. I didn't even swear back then. However, by the time her CD titled "Under My Skin" came out, I started swearing. Then again, that was when I was in Australia for 2 weeks without my parents, along with some other rebelious near-teenagers. Back in the days when D-12 still existed; the colors pink, black, and white were your favorite colors if you were cool; meeting someone who wasn't straight was still shocking; and when practically all of your friends had braces. "The Best Damn Thing" was her next CD and I was 15 when that was being sold. Of course, I went and bought it as soon as I could and the drama kids blasted her CD in the dressing room during all-day rehearsal that I brought back during my senior year musical. Eventually, she was lesser known and it really bummed me out. I still remained faithful to her latest CD and hoped she'd come out with something else... Finally, she had a single in the new Alice in Wonderland movie and soon, "What the Hell" was on the radio. I'd jam to that in my drives to and from college. "Smile" and "Wish You Were Here" were her next big hits and I'm sure there will be more off of this 4th CD. Basically, I've come a long way in 9 years and it's pretty hard to believe sometimes.

I dare to say I'm actually close to being a bad-ass. :)

And I'm high enough from all the waiting...

Dear Yesterday,

You were super great, filled with great people that I haven't seen in quite a while. Finally, I understand that I am important still, despite everything that has changed. I love when life happens to work out that way. Anyway, I'm hoping for more great days like that. I just really needed a break from Alma and this weekend was exactly the way I wanted it. And now? I'm feeling pretty good and I just have some sisterly obligations to fulfill right now. I miss my sisters, and I've been so busy lately, I haven't had much time to spend with them. And until December 4th, it's not going to get any less busy. So here's to making the most of right now...with some Zumba thrown in there!

Sincerely,
Me

Let's get fucked up and die.

Salt and vinegar chips don't taste the same, now that you're gone. Actually, you aren't gone: you are here but not with me and that's harder.

Maybe you're scared and damn it, I'm scared too.

The last time we talked, it was awkward and tense. It was palpable, that tension: that's how bad it was. I've said hi to you since then but you're just so removed. It's hard seeing you this way. It's hard not being able to go up after Chapel and wrap my arms around you, like I've dreamed. It's hard not to run to you and kiss your lips, because I've imagined them soft against mine and beautiful.

You took things slow and I needed that. But you weren't ready for a relationship and that's understandable. I'm still not--it's clear to everyone around me. I fool people by hanging out with guys and talking nonstop about the guys I facebook chat with. I talk the talk of a girl who's been around the block with several but in all honesty, I haven't. I've been waiting for the right guy by making out with and grinding on the wrong guys.

After what happened in May, I haven't felt anything real. I've been wanting something real since then but nothing made me feel that way. I'm sure many people will think I'm crazy for saying this but I don't think I am.

I'm crazy about you. Even though nothing romantically breathtaking took place between us, I just felt something for once in my life. Someday, I'll tell you this.

Just not now.

Let me finish this bag of chips first. Or maybe a few bags of these chips...

But tell me now, where was my fault?
In loving you with my whole heart...
I know that starting over is not what life's about
but my thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth...
1 2 3 4, tell me that you love me more
I'm miles from where you are
Still it's a shock, shock to your soft side
A falling star, fell from your heart
Took a little time to make it a little better
It's only going up, just one thing and another, you know, you know
The thrill is gone, baby...
When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones
and I will try to fix you

Dear Fall Break,

Hurry up and get here. I'm already going insane and I just really, really, really, want a break. Like now. I'm so impatient for it and I'm sure that everyone I know can tell just by looking at me.

Must. Make. It. To. Wednesday.

Then, I will FINALLY have a break. FINALLY.

I have a feeling I will be eating a homecooked meal followed by sleeping upon arriving home.

Gahh, I'm looking forward to it a little too much...

Kbye. I just gotta keep working hard these next two days and next week will be a breeze.

Yours Truly,

Erin

I get lost in my words...

FREEEEE FALLIN'

I am so busy.

Like seriously, my room looks like a tornado hit. Only my side though. My roommate is a lil more organized than me. If I decide to live in the Phi Sig house next year, which not gonna lie... I wanna!, I should be more organized. I think next year might be a lil less stressful. Well, maybe. :P

Chapel last night was amazing. Wow. :)

What else?

Oh yeah, my article made the front page of the Almanian. No biggie. :)

How enlightening.

I have been thinking a lot of thoughts lately.

And yes, they involve my past. Of course they involve my past. This time last year, a critical part of me began to change and now, I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. It's been 365 days of struggles, disdain, happiness, tears, forgiveness, grudges, jealousy, stress, excitement, wonder...

Ultimately: change. Then again, a lot has remained the same.

Just...those past feelings and thoughts come back and it's hard to know what to do. Should I bask in them or should I run the other way? I think either way, you are screwed. If you focus too much on the past, you lose sight of the Now. If you completely disregard the past, you don't learn anything from your failures or your triumphs. I've been in both situations too many times and I've grown by aiming for middle ground. I aim for remembering--not dwelling on--the past as well as learning from it.

For now, that's all I can hope for.

Year 2

Wow, it's here already and it's going way better than my freshman year. I actually know people!

And this year, I'm going to make better choices. I mean, I still want to have fun but I don't want a repeat of last year. But I'm not dwelling on it. I'm not perfect, obviously, but I'm making progress. I even went to the first official unofficial Alma College chapel service last night. :D

It was awesome.

Band camp is tiring though so I've been veging out in my room since about 8:00. I'll go socialize at the house/Bruske tomorrow night; I'm just sore and sunburnt currently.

My roomie arrives a week from Wednesday. Yaaaay!

It started out as a feeling...

I had forgotten this until today and I don't know why. Maybe this is another reason why I want to be a writer. Here it goes.

I was 8 years old at the time. It was the summer before third grade--the summer I went to Summer Recreation and broke my right arm. More specifically, my humerus bone. As my 6 year old brother pointed out, "It's not very humorous to break your humerus." I remember being on a car trip and somehow, I was sitting in shot-gun. That was probably mildly illegal but whatever. My mom and I were definitely in the front--Mike was probably sleeping in the back or something. However, I was working on a story about a dog named Skip. Of course, we can forget about copyright infringement too. It had nothing to do with the actually movie called "My Dog Skip." This was my version of it. It was about a yellow Labrador Retriever named Skip who decided to leave his home and go on a huge adventure. I had this great idea and I had to write it down so I did, with my arm hanging out of the sling to write. I remember my mom laughing and saying something like, "Look at you, writing away like your arm isn't even broken!" I didn't even stop after this: I kept going. Why? Because I was chasing a dream. My dream.

In fact, today? I am still chasing this dream and that isn't about to change.

I know where you've been...

It's all been a pack of lies!

*drum solo (ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum-bum, dadadada! crash!)*

Anyway:

I hate to break it to ya, but... I don't want to be your girlfriend. Sorry. I have higher standards that I have been ignoring for far too long. We can still be friends but don't expect me to drive to SVSU every weekend that you don't have a game of...rugby. Or is it lacrosse? Damn it, I'm terrible. :P

Btw, what DO tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze?

I wish that I could live this moment for life

So lately, I've been in a really good mood and I can't figure out why exactly. It is sweet, nonetheless.

I'm going to be back at Alma College in less than a month.

Also, I'm not going to be selling knives but working at basically my dream job or so I think.

Plus: I'll get to see my college friends again, swing dance, hang with my sorority sisters, do some band stuff, eat some "dee-licious" Saga food, go on late night walks, make Mancino's trips on Mondays, learn some French, write some papers, and spend every penny at the new Walmart or Treasure's. :)

And that's only part of it! Maybe it's summer or maybe it's me but... I like it. I like it a lot.

Question: Am I as strong as you think I am?

Answer: We'll find out.

Dear Subway Workers,

Would it kill you to actually smile? I mean, honestly. Who wants to go to Subway to get muttered at when I'm giving you my money to buy a common need called FOOD?! Where is your customer service? Where is your efficiency? I know it's a fast food job and it probably sucks but DEAL WITH IT. If I didn't actually like your subs, I wouldn't bother going to Subway. But seriously. I expect better next time.

Sincerely,

Erin

P.S. LEARN HOW TO CUT THROUGH A SANDWICH!

I am going to win.

Today is a Yellowcard day.

Oh, and today is going to be a good day. Why? Because I said so.

I can't find a wall to pin this to
They're all coming down, since I've found you
I just wanna be where you are tonight
I run in the dark looking for some light
And how will we know, if we just don't try
We won't ever know

P.S. I'm not writing in yellow on purpose.

I see, see shadows
Of who we'll always be
When I drive, drive these roads
That made our memories...

You're a menace! You, you--hack.

So basically... here I am.

Michael totally just brought me strawberries. They were delicious.

I have a few more sales appointments to do this week. Oh joy! And for once, I'm not being sarcastic.

Has anything else happened lately? Eh, nothing real note-worthy.

The violin version of Such Great Heights is awesome. :D

Do you remember when?

How long has it been?
1945, you opened my blue eyes
To see a whole new light
Do you remember when?
-Dear Bobbie, Yellowcard


I forgot about how much I used to love SHS band. You would think that I would start rejoicing about my "wonderful" senior year of band, but there isn't much to rejoice about. Sure, I won the John Phillips Sousa award and so I was going to be a Music Education major. So what? That doesn't mean I enjoyed myself. I simply was going to miss being in high school band and it was hard. So I became bitter. I lost a lot of good friends. I didn't even want to go to band awards that year. However, I got to college and realized I missed the SHS music department from time to time. I did have Alma's Kiltie Marching Band which helped but it wasn't the same. This year, I came back to band awards and realized a few things. 1. I grew up. I did things I told myself I wouldn't, I learned from my mistakes, and looked back on my success stories. 2. I'm not supposed to fix everything! I always think everything that falls apart is all my fault but it's not. Some things in life are supposed to remain mysteries and many things don't get solved ASAP. 3. I really just loved how the night went. Everyone who got their awards deserved them and I re-realized how much I loved everyone in the room. The band slideshow was pretty sweet too.


Point is, I've changed for the better. My senior year shadow is continuing to fade. Thank goodness.


And this is what I remember. Do you remember?

I'm gonna marry the night

This song is stuck in my head. Ahhh!

I'm going traveling again.

Ann Arbor(family) + Grand Rapids(friends) + Alma(drumline) = Joyness! :D


If this is life, I'm pretty okay with it.

P.S. I want this shirt.

My Fair Lady

Gaga, that is. :)




New cd=worth it.


There aint a reason you and me should be alone tonight. You want me bad, I think you're cool, but I'm not sure. Only the lonely ones win the race to love. I want your whiskey mouth. Get your hot rods ready to rumble cuz we're gonna fall in love tonight. Cuff me up sir, I'm mad. I wish I could be strong without somebody there. And when you're gone, I'll tell them my religion's you. I just wanna be myself and I want you to love me for who I am. Don't you try and catch me. I wanna love you but something's pulling me away from you. I'll be your everything. Love needs faith. I'm gonna marry the night. ;)


You know it. Stay classy.

You make breaking hearts look so easy. <3 Anberlin

I never ever really know what to say...

so I'm going to take a break, I suppose.


I know a wise writer once said writing just came out of your soul but what is the state of my soul anyway? Yes, I am a lot less confused and I believe control has found its way back into my life. However, I just don't feel much like blogging at this point in time.


I love writing but blogging?


I can't think of anything interesting, awesome, insightful, riveting, awakening, reviving, or profound to discuss.


But someday, when I make it big, people will eat up my writing like pletheras of stroganoff in Damascus. Well, maybe I shouldn't give myself that much credit.

Wouldn't you be dying to know?

I'm not writing this for you; I'm writing this for me.

That's my intention. It's never to please anyone. My writing is for the sole purpose of keeping me from going insane. It's my creative outlet and I can't just stop, just because there are times my words aren't appreciated. I have to keep this up, if I want to become who I want. I need to become this because, my old dream has officially died. Yes, I'm still in band but my dream was to make it in the Alma College Percussion Ensemble and I did. I did it! That dream has been fulfilled, after years of longing. Now, I have a new task before me--my writing career. I want it. I want to become well-known and great at what I do. It is my passion and without it, I cannot possibly survive in this world. I realize that the job market for it probably isn't good but I don't care if I'm homeless or living off of Ramen for a little while longer. I, Erin Stone, just want to be a writer. I want to chase this dream, until it cannot be chased anymore. I want to achieve this dream and live it.

Thoughts in my head!

I found another weakness! I was just too bold to admit it before! Hahahahaha! (talk about a bipolar moment!)

Btw.

Sadie: There's an easier way to do this but we should talk at some point. :)

Twitch.

Mama! Oooooh!

Yeah, just wanna give a shout out to the best mom ever!

That's all.

I assure you that this blog won't continue to get interesting unless I...

a. win the lottery
b. get a job
c. go traveling somewhere exotic
d. all of the above

P.S. Queen reference.

I've got my boots!

I forget how much I love her when she's in the groove...

Apparently, I am today. I like it.


The May I love is back.

May Flowers, hurry up!

P.S. Swing Dancing tomorrow. You should come! Jk, I'm pretty sure none of you will/want to. Whatever the case may be.

I dig it.

Btw, still in Sanilac County...until tomorrow, that is. :)

Yay Alma. :D

Now, the party don't start 'til I walk in ;)

Ke$ha reference.

So it's not quite 11 pm on Thursday. I have one more full day of being HOME--which is tomorrow. FRIDAY. (I swear, I would never reference that song.)

It sounds like I'm having a "Girl's Day" with my mother, plus laundry, unpacking, and job applications. Saturday will be that, only I'll be skipping town at like 3? I have no idea. Point is, I'm going to be a busy girl.

But I'm a lot happier, since I'm starting to get over my identity crisis. :)

I guess I had to go to that place, to get to this one

I never thought I'd say this but I actually enjoy running.

It gets my brain to stop going in a million directions and all I can focus on in the moment is one thing: what's in front of me. All of my focus is on the running, the self-discipline, the breathing, every step I take...ect.


I shoot for the moon but I'm gazing at stars. <3 Not Afraid by Eminem

Wait it Out.

I am having an identity crisis. At nineteen, this is a little bit of a scary realization. However, I'm sure I can get through it. It's just going to take a lot of time and a lot of patience...

I guess it started last year but it didn't really hit me until now. I've been hiding who I am for a long time. A very long time. YEARS! 17 and a half years, to be exact.

Then, I began thinking: "Wait a second...this so isn't me! What's happening? I've never acted like this before!" That's when I started to seriously panic. I panicked so much that a lot of people didn't know what I was going through. Even I didn't know exactly what was going on with me! Basically, people started making silly assumptions, if not unfair assumptions.

Looking back now, I have changed a lot in the last year. I've done many things that I now sort of regret--that I won't be naming--but I've learned from those experiences. However, I'm still feeling in a crisis. I've been thinking this a ton since Sunday and I'm not sure what brought these feelings on.

Oh well. I suppose I'll do what my title says: wait it out. A very awesome Imogen Heap song, by the way. :D

Stay classy.

You Know,

I'm not too fantastic with words.
...but I still manage to love writing. :)

I'm going to Ann Arbor tomorrow. But I've exclaimed it so much, I'm sure half the world knows.

I say I'm great with directions.
(I got lost on my way home from Alma...ooops.)

I tell people I have a great memory but I don't remember every aspect of high school, other than what I wrote in my diary.

I'm honest. The truth still hurts, doesn't it?

I don't know why I'm still awake.

So this is where I am

I'm home and not sure what to make of it.

What should I do?
Who should I see?
Who should I reconnect with?

All of this maddness...

Does it keep me wanting more?

I want to return to Alma, actually--but when the time comes.

4-30-11: Hurry up.

Oh, what can it mean for us?

I never write in blue. Ever.

People need to stop being stupid. I see so much of it and it makes me sick.

I'm staying in Alma for Spring Term and quite possibly for a bit of summer. Depends on the frustrating job market that has been raining on my parade for months.

I need to get sleep. Seriously.

When you fall asleep in your clothes and sleep until 1:30, that's a sign of sleep deprivation.

But I'm going to get a week break back at home and most of it will be spent sleeping. :P

Come together.

Hey. Thursday was awesome. I can't even explain how awesome it was. :) I've got a lil cold, and it's annoying. Also: I am debating on getting a few tattoos, as well as growing out my hair. If I can go to New Zealand next year, that will be quite awesome. At the same time, I feel like I'll be torn if there's an awesome Spring Term for my major that I can go on. We'll see.

This is basically a, "This is where I'm at" kind of post. Kinda bored, and not looking forward to exams or my Perc stress week--next week/weekend! Otherwise, content yet hungry. But tonight, one of my neighbors and I are organizing a pizza party so that should be a fun time. :)

Damn. It's almost 6 and I've done next to nothing with my day. Yesss. Oh, other than paint my toenails. :D

Bye. I have 14 days (counting today) left of being in Alma and then, I'll be home. Talk about mixed feelings.

So.

Is it time yet?

Not yet. Just focus on being here and Now, instead of in your future that you don't know for sure.

But what if I'm sick of being 19?

Too bad! You'll age in time. Besides, 19 isn't even that old. It's quite young.

But what if...?

What if? So what? Where would the fun in life be, if you knew exactly everything that was going to happen to you?

If I have mono, I am going to be so pissed.

April showers bring?

So far, it's much better than March and only Day 2.

I should go get brunch; however, my stomach just started acting up. Go figure.

But, at least I can be thankful that yesterday was a lovely day. :)


In every single way... :D

You deserve a smile with no regret. :)

Moral Luck by Greg Ross

You’re driving down the road and, in a moment of inattention, you run a red light. In one universe a cop pulls you over and gives you a ticket. In another universe you hit a little old lady and kill her.

In the first universe you’re just an ordinary motorist. In the second you’re a shameful monster. But you had no control over the presence of the little old lady; the same (small) list of controllable actions were available to you in both universes.

If our moral responsibility extends only to our voluntary actions, then in both universes your only transgression lies in running the red light. Why then do we assign additional blame for hitting the lady, an outcome over which you had no control?

Blogger's Note: I found this while on StumbleUpon. I love this, especially the last sentence. I don't have an answer for the question though. :)

That girl is a MONSTER.

I must be some kind of monster. A monster who drowns herself in Arby's to cover up the pain. A monster who hurts the people who love her because she doesn't hide her emotions. A monster who is cynical, sarcastic, rude, bitchy, and honest. A monster who is slowly realizing that people never change, no matter how much you want them to. A monster who is starting to see the lies underneath all that truth. A monster who cannot accept that she is also wrong. A monster who very well could be overreacting. A monster who wants to tear apart everything just to make it better. A monster who cannot stand the thought of the ending...

How monsterous of me.

Caught red-handed in the buiscuit tin!

I've been a bad girl... 


and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to be good again.

I miss myself
Before all of this happened
Before I lost some innocence
Before I went bad...

I want to turn back
I long to start again
This feeling has occured before
but never fully due to my actions

I miss who I was
and now, who will I be?
Will I change back or
will I stay as I am now?

I can't take back my actions
I never could before so
I cannot do it now
But why do I still desire to?

Class calls. Missing that again would ruin me.

Nothing like a good lightsaber battle to get you through the day... :)

In other news...

1. My hair didn't turn out like I expected but people like it so I'm going with it.
2. My weekend was unexpectadly awesome, thanks to Allie and Kelly mostly. I love them like sisters...literally. :)
3. It was lil sibs weekend this past weekend, which made me miss mine.
4. It's Greek Week this week--whatever that means--plus I get to see Sadie on Wednesday. :D
5. I'm still applying for jobs and I got accepted to Washtenaw Community College. Yay me! (Don't worry, Alma! I wouldn't even think about leaving you for good!)
6. This weekend, is Relay for Life (I'm walking at 3:30 am because I'm bad ass.) and then, I get to go home and see the musical. Booya!
7. Also: I get to see Nykki and possibly make rainbow cupcakes. WIN.
8. I'm pretty sure that's it.
9. Oh, I should think about sleeping considering what time it is.

Take a sad song, and make it better.

I remember when I used to hate the song "Hey Jude" by the Beatles. I think there are 2 main reasons for this.

1. It's quite a long song.
2. I didn't fully understand the meaning of the words at the time.

The song basically says go after what you want and when you find it, things in your life will improve. Plus, it's the Beatles so what's not to love?

Ps. I made the font green because, jude would be jade, if it had a different vowel. :P

PIE.

I wonder if we'll celebrate it tomorrow... I think we should. :)

I have a lot on my mind. A lot that many of you are unaware of. Today was very emotional and tough for me. All of my scars were open at once and that's never a pleasant feeling.

So I guess I have to face the facts. Get up and be like, hey emotions. I know it's 3 am but who cares?! I have to take care of my emotions before I can fix my sleep cycle. :)

My computer is going to die pretty damn soon.

Oh life...

What's the use in you denying that what you have is wrong?

Bipolar

I'll be out of my mind and you'll be out of ideas pretty soon so...let's spend an afternoon in a cold hot air balloon. :)

Ahh...finally, after a long week, I am an initiated member of Phi Sigma Sigma. I can dig it. :D

Formal=tonight. Yay!

Mood switch!
Never take friendship personal. If you can't hold yourself together, why should I hold you now?


Good frickin question...


I really do care.


I don't care at all.


Gah. Both are lies.

Mood switch!

HappyhappyjoyjoyhappyhappyjoyhappyhappyjoyjoyJOY!!!

You know, I haven't told you this but certain events still burn in the back of my mind and it's truly frustrating.

When you tell me I'm a wreck...

Okay, do you recall last month at all? Because I do. After breaking up with your girlfriend FOR ME, wouldn't it make sense for you to still want to be with me?

Apparently not to you.

Wouldn't it be nice?

I won't date you because you cheated and yet I still have feelings for you. Great, huh?


I can't win.

What you don't understand is I catch a grenade for ya...

March.

I can see the grass so that's probably a good sign.

I kinda want a Shamrock Shake, but I don't like spending money all the time.

My coat has a stain. That's what you get when you eat Snack Wraps in the dark.

I'm getting my hair trimmed today.


So why don't we run away?

Guess who's back? Back again?!

So I'm back in the 810 and I haven't gone insane OR been emotional/weird about it.

What the frick?!

Eh, oh well. I'm running with it! :D


By the way, I miss pep band and why didn't I play Paranoid when I got the chance?! Like I said, oh well!

Okaythankyougoodbye.

Oh my gosh...SNOW.

Snowpocalypse strikes again!

And to think it was 52 on Wednesday! Wtf, Michigan?!

Will there be a snow day?

Probably not.

Damn.

At least Spring Break is less than 6 days away! :D

I really don't have much else to say, other than what I already said so goodbye.

In case you didn't know...

I have a pet dragon.

I love him. Don't be hatin' or else he'll incinerate you.

867-5309. o_O

1. Thank goodness I'm tired.

2. Someone was whistling in the hallway.

3. I'm buying Pumas tomorrow. :D (yes, the shoes. I promise they're cheap, amazing, and I'm not crazy!)

4. I went to 7-Eleven with 13 other people. It was a fantastic life experience.

5. My parents are coming on Saturday which means free food!

6. I'm going to be the first Phi Sig to have Kermit the Frog letters. :D

7. Stay classy, ya'll. Tomorrow shall be grand!

New pens?!

Thank you, Mama Stone! :D

By the way, my favorite one is indeed this color orange.



I'm pretty sure today is a writing day.
And will you ever see my work? Maybe...one day. :)

Guess what?

It's Valentine's Day and I'm single. That shouldn't surprise you, but I'm okay with it.

My font is fuchsia. I know someone with this color hair pretty much...

My Valentine's Dance at CMU was interesting and I finally saw Moulin Rouge. It was pretty good.

What is love? <3

She's a Killer Queeeen...Guaranteed to blow your mind. :o

Bye.

How I wish 5:00 would hurry up...

author's note: this is a bit irregular looking but it's okay, it's still poetry :)

What I'm Waiting For

A ticking clock
I await the call

This is the final countdown
The last stretch of the race

Will I still be there,
after the clock runs out?

Will I join the few, the proud?

Or will I hang my head in shame,
knowing that I didn't make it?

I guess there's only one way to find out...

I'll play your waiting game
My mind will race all day
I won't want the call to come

I'll half expect it,
every time my phone goes off

And when I don't get it?

I will smile with relief
and actually breathe again...

Happy Groundhog Day!

We had a snow day at Alma College.

It was so awesome. :)

Also:

I helped build a snow fortress. It is HUGE. :D

Plus, I got to eat highland chicken AND pizza. Woohoo!

I would definately call this a successful day plus my Biology exam got moved to Monday. Phew/


Pretty pretty please! If you ever ever feel! Like you're nothing! You're f***in' perfect...to me!

Don't blink, don't close your eyes, and most of all? Don't apologize.

You know who you are
You are always with me


You know who I am
You know what I do
You know what I think...to a point


I mean, there aren't many of you
There have only been three in my life


But guess what?
You are all so different
yet so very similar


I can't put my finger on it
I can't explain how you always seem to find me


No matter where I am
No matter what I do
No matter who I am


You will find me
and I will find you...

I love this.

"I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself."

-Aldous Huxley, author of Brave New World


In other news:

• There was only one peach fruit snack in my lil package mixed fruit snacks. How unfair!
• I'm changing my major...again.
• I'm attempting on joining a sorority! :o
• I *might* go home this weekend.
• There's gonna be a snow storm!

Let's go. Take the world with me.

Rocky.

Yes, he was my dog for the past 11 years. I remember getting him like it was yesterday. I think I ran away screaming when he jumped on me for the first time. I was 8 and I was never a big fan of dogs. He was super playful at first but as he got older, he grew feeble. The executive decision to lay him to rest came after my Christmas break. I wasn't home but I can only imagine what Michael was going through during that time. He loved Rocky, no matter what he did that I thought was stupid. However, despite the fact that Rocky ate Nature's food and barked for no reason at all, I loved him too. Michael and I weren't the only ones who loved Rocky either. I'll never forget how people would come over and tell me how awesome they thought he was.

So here's to you, Rocky Puddles Stone. Although it may of seemed like I didn't appreciate you a lot of the time, I loved you. After all, you always made sure that Michael and I were safe and sound. :)

And by the way, I'm dreading coming home and not seeing those puppy dog eyes of yours...

An answer now is what I need...

Why don't I ever know what I want or need?

Why don't I know how to feel about my state of confusion?

Why can't I be happy and fun-filled all the time?

Why do similar patterns always seem to come back and haunt me?

You are not alone. This is not the end of your story. Rescue is possible. (To Write Love on Her Arms)

And besides, what's the fun in life, if you know exactly how everything is going to turn out?

Introduction of Sorts.

So hey. As you can see, this is my new blog! Yay for blogging! I promise I'll have some meaningful material but not all the time.

For example, let's consider the Narwhal video I just posted. Basically, I think that everyone needs a good narwhal experience. :)

If you ever need gift ideas for me, a narwhal would be a wonderful present!

disclaimer: I am a college student, where the heck would I put such a thing?!

Dang, this font size is quite impressive.

Anyway, if you have any concerns with my state of being, just ask away.

8)