Salt and vinegar chips don't taste the same, now that you're gone. Actually, you aren't gone: you are here but not with me and that's harder.
Maybe you're scared and damn it, I'm scared too.
The last time we talked, it was awkward and tense. It was palpable, that tension: that's how bad it was. I've said hi to you since then but you're just so removed. It's hard seeing you this way. It's hard not being able to go up after Chapel and wrap my arms around you, like I've dreamed. It's hard not to run to you and kiss your lips, because I've imagined them soft against mine and beautiful.
You took things slow and I needed that. But you weren't ready for a relationship and that's understandable. I'm still not--it's clear to everyone around me. I fool people by hanging out with guys and talking nonstop about the guys I facebook chat with. I talk the talk of a girl who's been around the block with several but in all honesty, I haven't. I've been waiting for the right guy by making out with and grinding on the wrong guys.
After what happened in May, I haven't felt anything real. I've been wanting something real since then but nothing made me feel that way. I'm sure many people will think I'm crazy for saying this but I don't think I am.
I'm crazy about you. Even though nothing romantically breathtaking took place between us, I just felt something for once in my life. Someday, I'll tell you this.
Just not now.
Let me finish this bag of chips first. Or maybe a few bags of these chips...
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