this heart is burning up.

there's a lot to talk about today. a lot of good things but also a lot of slightly terrifying and perhaps nerve-racking things. I will have you know, dear readers, that my blog is going to be anything but academic tonight. just saying.

anyway.

here we go.

there are 164 days until I graduate from Alma College. 164 days until I have to throw myself into the big scary adult world. ONLY 164 DAYS.

luckily, I'm not the only one freaking out about this. but yet, here I am: talking about it. because it's about time that I realized that the clock is ticking and I should probably stop moping about how I don't have an apartment and stop avoiding reality by watching shows such as Skins (UK) and Orange Is The New Black.

(but let's be real, those shows are super addicting and I can totally relate to some of the aspects of the shows)

I should just stop avoiding the reality of the situation that in 164 days, I'm going to want to have some aspects of my future figured out. including: figuring out a job, figuring out when I'm actually going to take the GRE and not wimp out (that's a story for another blog post maybe), figuring out when exactly I'm going to grad school, figuring out where I'm going to grad school, whether I'm going to England or not and how I'm going to get there, how I'm going to afford adult things such as a place to live, a car, insurance on things, bills for all the things, food...

however, thinking about the future has consequences as well! in order to be happy in my current senior year of Alma College situation, I have to live in the present moment ("the Now") so I don't experience fomo--or "fear of missing out"--which I have been experiencing...A LOT. I blame that on avoiding reality and thinking about...the future. 

(I could also blame it on taking 18 credits this semester, my wonderful sorority, my writing, and my friends outside of Phi Sig and outside of Alma...)

there's just A LOT going on in my life right now and it's just...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

senior year is such a wild adventure! such a wild and stressful adventure!

and...that "wild adventure" phrase that I just used has most recently lead me down the path of partying...which has been both fun and not so fun, especially in light of my most recent "wild adventure." 

(also a possible topic for a blog. or not, because I advertise my stupidity on the Internet enough as is.) 

so. here's the part where I rapidly switch gears.

I did something totally out of my comfort zone today. I registered for a Greek Life conference...but not just any Greek Life conference. I registered for a Greek Life conference through Greek InterVarsity, which happens to focus on Christian leadership and Greek Life...at the same time. 

(yes, I said Christian leadership. it's kind of a big deal.)

so...here's some websites and junk, if ya'll want to check these things out.

Greek InterVarsity website: http://greek.intervarsity.org/

Greek Conference website: http://gc.greekiv.org/

you might be wondering what prompted me to register for such a conference. so here we go.

1. one of my sorority sisters, Emily, organized this Bible Study for our Phi Sigma Sigma chapter last spring. then, she graduated and started working for Greek InterVarsity. 
2. I began going to this Bible Study this year, because God via Jesus has been like "yo, Erin. GO TO THIS. it will be worth it, I promise. I got you." (but seriously: this is how He gets to me. He has to talk all gangster to me and use Jesus and the holy spirit to kind of nudge me along my journey.)
3. some of my sorority sisters (one being Emily) went to Greek Conference last year and they really enjoyed their experience.
4. I was on the fence so...God nudged me this to register...and pay in full. on the same night, aka tonight.
5. He totally used my sisters to influence that decision too, because four or five of them were all registering after Bible Study. plus, going to a conference with a few of my sisters and other Alma Greeks will be fun bonding experience and a great way to bring what we learn back to campus!
6. The section that I chose called "Thrive" is all about fighting temptations and looking at what the Bible says about dating, marriage, sex, alcohol, the whole shebang! Although I was skeptical about this particular session, out of fear of changing my ways, I'm doing it anyway. challenging myself. yes.
7. and that promo video with all the Greeks at Greek Conference having a giant dance party? that was pretty darn convincing too. 

so yeah. I'm going to Greek Conference and it's going to be super cool.

there was more! oh yes.

I'm not the only one who is considering going to grad school in England and this makes me super duper happy, because I'm not the only one who misses it!

and yes, I still miss England. a lot. one of my friends--also an Emily but different from the one I already mentioned--said she buried a piece of her heart in York Minster and honestly... I did too. not in York Minster, but in other places.

there are pieces of my soul scattered around England and the only way to get those pieces back is to go back.

so yes. going back and figuring out how to get back is going to be quite a process. but it will be worth it when I can tweet "GUYS. GUESS WHAT I AM GOING BACK TO ENGLAND AND I WILL GET THE PIECES OF MY SOUL BACK AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. AHHHHH." and when I can hear a terrible piano score of "Set Fire To The Rain" by Adele while I'm taxiing into the Manchester Airport and watching the raindrops race down those tiny oval plane windows.

yes. 

wow, did I have a lot to say. I suppose that's a good thing.

just take from this that things are getting better. I want to be better, do more, be more, and see more. those were my resolutions for this year, weren't they?

so...why waste any more time? senior year is here. it's now. it's time to begin.

I'm going to make these next 164 days worth it...and I think I have a good start.

tomorrow, I'm going to watch the sunrise and it's going to be beautiful. it's also going to be early and require a fresh cup of coffee.

until next time.

and remember...stay classy.