this is important.

quick shout out to Tumblr for this gem.

and this pain is a gift and there's pain in the truth

yooooooo.

would you like to know what I did yesterday before the apocalyptic storm of the midwest with the tornado warnings...in November?!

I was in my car, eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream with my pal Amy, and life chatting mostly about inner-sorority politics.

basically, elections for our sorority's executive board are coming up in 6 days so...things are getting pretty intense.

there will be blood shed, I can almost assure you. (just kidding, I hope.)

thankfully, I'm a senior so I don't get that awesome opportunity of the drama associated with running for a position.

the rest of the seniors, those who don't run for anything, and I just get to watch. which...is actually sort of entertaining. sort of.

anyway, back to my cool story about ice cream and storms and stuff.

but first: how did we end up eating ice cream on a stormy day in November?

wellllll...let's just say that your lovely blog writer has been struggling to keep her emotions in check in the recent past.

it started off with a usual trip to Wal-Mart. or what I thought was going to be a usual trip to Wal-Mart.

basically, on the drive to Wal-Mart (which is only about 7 minutes or so), I burst into tears. just like any sane twenty one year old would do on what seemed to be a pleasant trip to Wal-Mart.

but I mean, this is me we're talking about. I sort of have this tendency to be as emotionally stable as a soaked kitten. trust me, it makes perfect sense, if you spend an extended amount of time with me.

so anyway, Amy did what any awesome friend would do and encouraged me to talk about why I was crying and listened to me when I did. she also told me positive things to get me to think positively about life and myself, which helped, even though I was in disbelief about a lot of the good things she was telling me. mind you, this was all taking place in the Wal-Mart parking lot and I was sobbing, still in the driver's seat.

usually, the emotional breaks (like this one) are due to my future and how this year hasn't gone at all like I have wanted it to. and usually, when I get unsure about one aspect of my life, it just spirals out of control into many aspects of my life and it's very hard to regain control--because I feel like because of the uncertainty, I feel out of control and helpless. especially the case when emotions are involved, which they usually are.

that was probably more than you cared to know but point is, I calmed down and we went to Wal-Mart and I was just like "ooopsbye, totally was sobbing five minutes ago. DON'T CURR," as I bought some necessities such as shampoo and Kashi bars.

then, Amy asked me if I wanted some ice cream. obviously, I said yes. I was in some serious need of ice cream therapy.

so we browsed and I just really wanted Phish Food. although I said I didn't care what flavor we got, I really wanted an excuse to eat my favorite flavor of Ben & Jerry's. but luckily, Amy bought me Phish Food, like I secretly knew she would.

we also prepared by buying plastic spoons. it was legit.

then, we proceeded to eat the entire pint of ice cream in my car, by this park I used to go to all the time earlier in my college years, in 20 minutes, while the storm was brewing.

eventually, the sky was getting darker and the wind picked up so we were smart and drove back to campus. not even 15 minutes later, the sky got even darker and it started raining/hailing at an impressive rate.

that is how I spent my time during the apocalyptic storm in November and I must say that it has made all the difference.

so here are three things that you should take away from this:

•  it's amazing what a little ice cream therapy and a good friend can do. 
• I strongly encourage ice cream therapy. (just...maybe not in a potentially horrible storm, but hey. it was a senior year yolo moment, in my case. :P)
• it's okay to not be okay. (a bit overdone but it's definitely true.) 

that's all she wrote. if you want to know more about my emotional state, just holler. but as of right now, I am feeling content, which is a wonderful feeling. :)

and I know that I should let go, but I can't.

yo.

i'mma make a bulleted list of things that are going on and get back to my life. mmkay? mmkay!

• I survived my exam for Abnormal Psychology--got a 95%. I was pretty impressed with myself, considering how stressed I have been this year. GO ME.
• I survived my Philosophy presentation today, which is only one of my three presentations, but it's one step closer to being done with this crazy week. It wasn't that bad but I was shaking like a leaf the entire time (because if you know me, I don't like speaking in class, let alone in front of a class in a presentation format.) luckily, my pal Kelsey was supportive, because she's the only one in my philosophy class who legitimately knows about my irrational fear of talking in class. and yup, now it's on the Internet. cool. 
• My Women's Literature presentation is tomorrow and my group hasn't ran through it, but thanks to technology, we have our entire ppt on Google Docs and it's 100% done. I just have to get through it without voming on people and shaking. 
• I get to meet my little sister tomorrow afternoon! (For those who don't know, I'm doing this service learning project for one of my classes and one of the options was Big Brothers Big Sisters through the local school district.) but I'm excited. it's going to be good.
• I talked to my mom today for about a half hour and it definitely made me feel better about life. <3
• PHI SIGMA SIGMA INITIATION IS THIS WEEKEND AND I JUST...AHHH. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEW MEMBERS TO BECOME INITIATED SISTERS, SO I JUST HAD TO WRITE THIS IN ALL CAPS. (Phi Sigma Sigma is my sorority, by the way. in case you weren't previously aware. it's been a solid in my college life, since my second semester of my freshman year.)
• I am listening to Kate Nash's album "Made of Bricks" and I must say...it's pretty solid, even though it's 5 years old or so.
• My bestest friend got her driver's license and I am so proud.

so much for doing this on a daily, eh?

it's just...life. it's busy. it's stressful. but you just have to keep pressing on. 

tips for dealing with a stressed out person

yo, readers!

I don't know about any of you but this week is going to be stressful for me. with that being said, I have decided to include ten tips on how to deal with a stressed out person and I am using myself as an example, just because I know my life. it's going to be such fun!

and perhaps, some of these things will apply to dealing with other people who are stressed too. :)

okay. here we go.

1. Don't be ridiculous and think to yourself that dealing with me when I'm stressed is going to be easy, because it won't be--it's most definitely a pain in the ass.
2. If you tell me not to worry, I am going to continue to worry. 
3. Be encouraging. It doesn't matter how you go about it, just as long as you are.
4. Don't diminish my stress because it is my stress and different people handle stress differently and differently people have different stress levels. And hey, if it makes you feel any better, I won't diminish your stress for those same reasons. Ya dig?!
5. Congratulate me when I pass through one of the hurdles of stress with success (like my exam tomorrow, or my Philosophy presentation on Wednesday, what have you...) This applies even when I don't feel like it was successful! Your congratulations will keep me going through the next hurdles I have to deal with.
6. Remind me of something good that is happening AFTER the stress is over and done with so I have something to look forward to. 
7. Keep me accountable. If I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, tell me to get myself back on track. When I stress, I sometimes procrastinate to "avoid" the stress, but avoiding it doesn't work.
8. Please forgive my grouchiness during my stressful week and don't take it personally. It's not you, it's my stress.
9. Likewise, please forgive me and don't worry too much if you witness a mental breakdown that leaves me crying on your shirt sleeve. Really. I will be okay, just hug me and tell me nice things to keep me on the road to accomplishment.
10. Random acts of kindness during a stressful week are wonderful and appreciated. People need to be reminded of the good in the world--especially in rough times that may include stress.

of course, this isn't an exhaustive list of things to do for people when they feel the pull of the quicksand that is stress... plus, different things work for different people.

just find what works and you will feel better during a stressful week, I can assure you. my advice is to have a playlist with a bunch of songs that will pump you up to be the best you can be. 

mine is titled "go forth and be a bad ass" and let me tell you, that playlist has been life-changing.

that's all I have for tonight, dear readers. 

accomplish many things this week and if you get stressed, remember that there are people who support you through your stressful times, no matter how long those times last.

p.s. I saw Thor 2 in 3-D yesterday and...AHHHHHH. It was awesome. Bye.

a random blog post about Funkle Jesse and crazy study dates

yo.

this blog post...I don't know what to write about.

I could write about how I went to a concert yesterday and how completely awesome it was. I could write about how because of that concert, I am dead tired, even after drinking coffee and pop earlier today. I could write about how my friend Amy and I have spent our Saturday in the library, being productive.

this blog post is not going to make much sense then.

naaaaaaah, bro.

so this concert. it was this random band called Funkle Jesse. it was at this place called Billy's Lounge, located in lovely downtown Grand Rapids. I went with my friend Craig (who I am not currently dating, contrary to popular belief) and he actually knows Mark, their bassist/trombonist/drummer. I was surrounded by drunk people who were all older than me. it was pretty intense.

as far as what songs they do, it's a bunch of cover songs. their first set was all of Adele's ablum "21." their next two sets were all random songs that ranged from current songs (like "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye) to rock n' roll classics (such as "Dream On" by Aerosmith.)

their lead singer is a blonde goddess with some serious pipes. no lie.

plus, they did two songs by No Doubt and her portrayal of Gwen Stefani was impressive.

their cover of  "Dream On" was so impressive, that my only response was to get another pint.

point being, they were a great band and I could probably blog about them forever. but I'm not going to.

I'm mostly still taking in the awesomeness and still trying to wake up from my late night of 4 am last night.

part 2 is going to consist of my library date with Amy. it's been grand, to say the least. we basically came here after eating brunch, there's no one in this library nor in the computer lab that we happen to be in, we broke the rules of eating/drinking in this computer lab, we already went on a coffee run, and we made up a word called "instituation," because I had to write about institutionalization in one of my brief papers that I wrote today.

we've also life chatted, laughed about a lot of random stuff, talked about the classes we're taking next semester, and have both asked each other this question "will you figure out my life for me? please?"

we are both also going next to insane because of our still relatively high stress levels and the fact that we have been in here...for over 5 hours. on a Saturday. we should probably go get lives or something. but college. college sort of sucked out my soul.

(fun fact: I go to Alma College and you will never guess what the Spanish word for soul is...it's ALMA! yeah. it's sort of a big deal. ish.)

so yeah. it's pretty much just what I needed, after being so stressed out about all of these things that are coming up in my life.

we're also seeing Thor 2 tonight (my first time seeing it, her second), so that will probably be awesome and perhaps it will be so awesome, that I will have to blog about it.

good friends make the stress of college so much more livable and I wish there were more people who understood this.

was that a decent way to take this blog post? perhaps.

you should also take away from this blog post that I am slowly going insane in this library. and my insanity in this library will probably continue for the rest of this week.

so stay tuned for my insanity, dear readers! it's going to be a good time, I can almost assure you.

am I a part of the cure or am I part of the disease?

"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." -Andy Warhol

yo. welcome back to my blog.

I like that quote. It's important. However, that is not what I'm here to write about today. I'm going to write about how I self-medicate with pizza and beer!

just kidding (although that is what I'm currently doing). instead, I'm going to blog about how I managed to land my job at the winery/microbrewery over the summer.

but...that whole winery thing sort of fell into my life rather unexpectedly, like many things in life do. so. sit back and take a journey with me.

let's flashback to February of 2013...pre-England. I went to this job/internship fair at the beginning of this month and was later offered an internship at Masonic Pathways. if you don't know, it's a senior living center for masons or relatives of masons, in Alma. This was sort of my dream place to get some experience in my field of psychology, especially since I like old people and especially since I had been there for Alma classes on two occasions, allowing me to meet some pretty fantastic old ladies.

so this was my plan: I would stay in Alma for the summer, do my internship, and get some sort of paying job on the side, since I knew that this internship was going to be unpaid.

however, little things started happening to make me second guess.

for example, the current old woman I was visiting complained about Masonic constantly and how she felt like she was just a number and how the workers didn't relate to them well.

then, I found out that summer housing was going to be one of the crappier dorms and cost me $600 or so, and no meal plan, so I would have to budget and buy my own food--but I was good at that, thanks to England.

then, there was the whole issue with paying for Alma College credits for this internship, which was more money.

then, there was me, who didn't talk to anyone in the Psychology Department about the internship.

flash forward to about May of 2013...and boom! indecision! I was overseas, I got asked to pay MORE for my unpaid internship, and then decided while still across the pond, mind you, that I wasn't going to go through with it.

of course, that brought LOTS of backlash--mostly from my parents, because I wasn't taking my future "seriously" or something like that. oh, and other Alma people too were thinking the same thing. can't forget that. (p.s. this not taking my future seriously thing is a common theme...)

flash forward to post-England...and I was at home, without a job, missing England like crazy. so I was applying for jobs, getting frustrated, and getting interviews that mostly ended with "we need you for an entire year" and me being like "umm...no. college."

so. on a whim, I applied at this winery in downtown Lexington, which is a cute little restorty town on Lake Huron that is about as far as I was willing to travel.

(then again, I did apply to be a camp counselor at a Girl Scout Camp in Southeastern Wisconsin, had a successful interview, and was so close to doing that...but that's beside the point. leaving again, after being home from England for less than a month, was too complicated.)

I walk in, see a guy who looked in his mid-twenties behind the counter, wearing this bright shirt and tie, and the first thing he says to me is "What's happenin'?!" I then told him what was happening, that I was applying for this job, and he introduced himself as Chris.

I wrote some information down, handed him a resume, and right away he noticed my uncle's name, the county sheriff, who he happened to know and who happens to be a regular customer at the winery. (let's just say that helped.)

the point is, he thought I had what it took to work at a winery/microbrew right away and according to my soon-to-be boss Connie, I had passed "the Chris test."

then, bam. the interview with Connie was on Monday, she loved me, I got the job, and my first day was  that Friday. my job on the first day?

serve bacon.

that's right. bacon. 

my job title?

baconette. 

so it wasn't even Day One and I knew that this job was going to change my life. and it did.

like they always say: when one door closes, another door opens. yeah, it's a cliche but it certainly applied to my summer.

of course, there is a little part of me that regrets not taking the internship at my former dream place but mostly, I don't regret it for a second.

soon, I will blog about this job in more detail, but until then...click right heeeeere to see a video of a band that I may or may not have jammed with over the summer.

(they are much better live, but you get the idea.)

stay classy, dear readers!

oh we go where nobody knows, with guns hidden under our petticoats...

chocolate by the 1975 is a catchy song. so catchy, that I had to title the blog with at least one lyric from that song.

if you don't know it, just click right here for the video. boom. enjoy.

after you do that, you should read this!

heyoooo, 

next week is going to own my life because, I have an exam on Monday for Abnormal Psychology and not one but three presentations--one for Philosophy, one for Women's Literature, and one for Abnormal Psychology. plus, next week is initiation week for our newest members of Phi Sigma Sigma. 

basically, insanity.

however, I am still committed to blogging about my life, because I told myself that I would. so get excited. I may be busy but I will make time for this.

anyway: I have no idea what to write about right now. currently, I am supposed to be reading Quicksand by Nella Larsen for my Women's Literature class tomorrow and writing a very brief paper about it when I finish. well...I have 30 pages left currently and my motivation got left behind in the library, after I was there and productive for mostly all of the 4 hours I was there. so...here I am. blogging, drinking Coke at basically 11:30 at night, eating my second cheese stick of the day, and jamming to music.

yup. my life. I wish the real world would just stop hassling to me. (and yes, that song Real World by Matchbox 20 just ended. yup. if you don't know that one, I think you need to go back to the 90's.)

and...Icarus by Bastille is playing currently. Bastille is an amazing band. if you don't know who Bastille is, you need to look at your life, look at your choices, and look Bastille up. do it now.

anyway: the fact that I mentioned not one but two bands (The 1975 and Bastille) that hail from England, maybe I should just blog about England for a few seconds. obviously, I cannot blog about every single aspect in this post--mostly because I have to be productive tonight still and because it's a lot of fangirling and OMG I'M IN ENGLAND. AHHHH.

okay. so I went to England for a month. it was wonderful. it wasn't long enough, but it was wonderful.

I'm still having trouble finding the words to properly express the experience and I don't even know where to start, since the memories keep flooding back and blending together into this giant vat of "ENGLAAAAAND."

so I suppose the beginning will have to suffice. after getting out of the airport, we took a coach from Manchester to York, which took a few hours. during the bus ride, it was nothing but green and hilly countryside. and lots of brick buildings--including houses. and sheep. let's not forget the sheep. 

I still cannot accurately describe how green it was. I'm pretty sure it rained the entire drive too and then, when we got to York, it was a bit sunny.

the jet lag was real at this point, especially when we had to carry our heavy suitcases up hill, to our hostel, and up a few flights of stairs. it was called The Ace Hostel, but our itinerary said The Ace Hotel. woops.

it was not a hotel, guys. 

I mean, I have stayed in hostels before so I wasn't terribly disgusted by the place. there were eight of us to a room in our hostel, but we were only in York for a few days so it wasn't terrible. mainly, we were just there for sleeping and recovering from the jet lag.

and let me tell you, my jet lag was really bad. like...it took me until we left York to eat and sleep like a normal person who was used to England life.

anyway, we got all settled into our rooms and our professor was like "yo, go explore until we have to meet as a class later! don't just go to sleep because your sleep cycle will get thrown off!" 

so. Erin (yes. there were two on the trip. I've known her since my freshman year so she's basically my other half, in case you care), Kelsey, Maggie and I decided to go to a local sandwich shop to eat. it was relatively close to our hostel and it was relatively cheap, since we had yet to venture to an ATM to try out our debit cards.

I had this brie and cranberry panini, which wasn't bad, but I also was super disoriented and not used to this whole England thing just yet.

seriously. we were all eating and zoned out to the point where we were barely conversing. I think we got looking at a map at this point, just so we could do a bit of sight seeing, but it was mostly just a vague plan of wandering around.

after lunch, we followed the map, crossed a pretty river where we took a few pictures (I'm pretty sure it was the Thames, but I could be wrong), and made it to the more modern-looking York. H&M was one of the first things we saw that looked familiar.  

then, we saw Ryan and Jacob from our group so we decided to join them on our search for an ATM and pretty scenery. (spoiler alert: we found both.)

during pretty scenery time in this garden sort of by York Minster, we basically ran around, laughed, took obnoxious pictures, and we were all like "OMG WE ARE IN ENGLAND. AHHHHH" for however long we were there, which was probably about an hour. our concepts of time were a little bit off at this point.

then, we wandered back towards our hostel and ventured into a little cathedral. we were in there for a long time. it was really spiritually awakening and just...still.

since we didn't have a ton of time left before we had to meet back at the hostel, we decided to quickly walk on a very small part of the wall surrounding the city of York and told ourselves that we would walk the wall in its entirety before we left in a few days. 

let's just say the view was amazing. 

at this point, we had to go back to our hostel to discuss our plans for class tomorrow, as well as the rules of the hostel. it was pretty basic.

then, we all basically chilled, got dinner (I believe that was the night that we went to The Slug and Lettuce), and turned in early. of course, I could barely sleep, which wasn't super fun to deal with the next morning.

point is, the first day was a total blurr, especially since Sunday and Monday sort of meshed into one super long day, due to the time difference of 5 hours (or was it 6 hours?) and my lack of sleep on the plane. but it's a blurr that I can't forget.

yeah. that's about all I can muster for this evening.

until next time, dear readers!

this heart is burning up.

there's a lot to talk about today. a lot of good things but also a lot of slightly terrifying and perhaps nerve-racking things. I will have you know, dear readers, that my blog is going to be anything but academic tonight. just saying.

anyway.

here we go.

there are 164 days until I graduate from Alma College. 164 days until I have to throw myself into the big scary adult world. ONLY 164 DAYS.

luckily, I'm not the only one freaking out about this. but yet, here I am: talking about it. because it's about time that I realized that the clock is ticking and I should probably stop moping about how I don't have an apartment and stop avoiding reality by watching shows such as Skins (UK) and Orange Is The New Black.

(but let's be real, those shows are super addicting and I can totally relate to some of the aspects of the shows)

I should just stop avoiding the reality of the situation that in 164 days, I'm going to want to have some aspects of my future figured out. including: figuring out a job, figuring out when I'm actually going to take the GRE and not wimp out (that's a story for another blog post maybe), figuring out when exactly I'm going to grad school, figuring out where I'm going to grad school, whether I'm going to England or not and how I'm going to get there, how I'm going to afford adult things such as a place to live, a car, insurance on things, bills for all the things, food...

however, thinking about the future has consequences as well! in order to be happy in my current senior year of Alma College situation, I have to live in the present moment ("the Now") so I don't experience fomo--or "fear of missing out"--which I have been experiencing...A LOT. I blame that on avoiding reality and thinking about...the future. 

(I could also blame it on taking 18 credits this semester, my wonderful sorority, my writing, and my friends outside of Phi Sig and outside of Alma...)

there's just A LOT going on in my life right now and it's just...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

senior year is such a wild adventure! such a wild and stressful adventure!

and...that "wild adventure" phrase that I just used has most recently lead me down the path of partying...which has been both fun and not so fun, especially in light of my most recent "wild adventure." 

(also a possible topic for a blog. or not, because I advertise my stupidity on the Internet enough as is.) 

so. here's the part where I rapidly switch gears.

I did something totally out of my comfort zone today. I registered for a Greek Life conference...but not just any Greek Life conference. I registered for a Greek Life conference through Greek InterVarsity, which happens to focus on Christian leadership and Greek Life...at the same time. 

(yes, I said Christian leadership. it's kind of a big deal.)

so...here's some websites and junk, if ya'll want to check these things out.

Greek InterVarsity website: http://greek.intervarsity.org/

Greek Conference website: http://gc.greekiv.org/

you might be wondering what prompted me to register for such a conference. so here we go.

1. one of my sorority sisters, Emily, organized this Bible Study for our Phi Sigma Sigma chapter last spring. then, she graduated and started working for Greek InterVarsity. 
2. I began going to this Bible Study this year, because God via Jesus has been like "yo, Erin. GO TO THIS. it will be worth it, I promise. I got you." (but seriously: this is how He gets to me. He has to talk all gangster to me and use Jesus and the holy spirit to kind of nudge me along my journey.)
3. some of my sorority sisters (one being Emily) went to Greek Conference last year and they really enjoyed their experience.
4. I was on the fence so...God nudged me this to register...and pay in full. on the same night, aka tonight.
5. He totally used my sisters to influence that decision too, because four or five of them were all registering after Bible Study. plus, going to a conference with a few of my sisters and other Alma Greeks will be fun bonding experience and a great way to bring what we learn back to campus!
6. The section that I chose called "Thrive" is all about fighting temptations and looking at what the Bible says about dating, marriage, sex, alcohol, the whole shebang! Although I was skeptical about this particular session, out of fear of changing my ways, I'm doing it anyway. challenging myself. yes.
7. and that promo video with all the Greeks at Greek Conference having a giant dance party? that was pretty darn convincing too. 

so yeah. I'm going to Greek Conference and it's going to be super cool.

there was more! oh yes.

I'm not the only one who is considering going to grad school in England and this makes me super duper happy, because I'm not the only one who misses it!

and yes, I still miss England. a lot. one of my friends--also an Emily but different from the one I already mentioned--said she buried a piece of her heart in York Minster and honestly... I did too. not in York Minster, but in other places.

there are pieces of my soul scattered around England and the only way to get those pieces back is to go back.

so yes. going back and figuring out how to get back is going to be quite a process. but it will be worth it when I can tweet "GUYS. GUESS WHAT I AM GOING BACK TO ENGLAND AND I WILL GET THE PIECES OF MY SOUL BACK AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. AHHHHH." and when I can hear a terrible piano score of "Set Fire To The Rain" by Adele while I'm taxiing into the Manchester Airport and watching the raindrops race down those tiny oval plane windows.

yes. 

wow, did I have a lot to say. I suppose that's a good thing.

just take from this that things are getting better. I want to be better, do more, be more, and see more. those were my resolutions for this year, weren't they?

so...why waste any more time? senior year is here. it's now. it's time to begin.

I'm going to make these next 164 days worth it...and I think I have a good start.

tomorrow, I'm going to watch the sunrise and it's going to be beautiful. it's also going to be early and require a fresh cup of coffee.

until next time.

and remember...stay classy.

and I didn't expect you to whisper some truth through your hands

It's Day 2, folks, and I legitimately have no idea what to talk about. I'm also typing this on my iPad, rather than firing up my good old laptop.

So I would say it is accurate to say that this task has of blogging daily has proven to be a bit daunting, especially since I'm a senior and I'm supposed to be figuring out my life, remember?

But it's only day 2.

Okay. Life has been going a bit better, but not exactly how I want it. SURPRISE. :D

So...long story short, I was supposed to be living in this brand-spanking newly-renovated historic building in Alma, MI, better known as The Opera House, during this academic year--this wonderful year of being a senior! However, the plan failed, due to a combination of factors. Since the building was a historic building, there had to be permits and the State of Michigan had to give specific specifications as to how the building was to be renovated. The contractor also did not realize how much work had to be done by his August deadline. The college made a promise for a living situation for top-of-the-class seniors and juniors that they couldn't keep. Plus, the government shut down for a week or so, which definitely didn't improve the situation whatsoever.

As of October 17th, the forty or so students were told that there was no way that the apartments would be done by Winter semester and the likelihood of us moving in at any point during this academic year is slim to none.

So you may wonder--where am I now? Well, I am currently in a giant dorm room in the oldest residence hall on campus, also known as Gelston, which legitimately almost got autocorrected to gelatin.

Yup.

And yes, it isn't an apartment and it sucks. However, there's not much I can do at this point. I could move off campus but that involves moving all of my things out of my current room, apartment hunting, paying rent, and losing some of my scholarship money.

Plus, we are getting $800 per semester for our troubles and ALL the munch money!

Basically, it could be better but it also could be worse.

I have wasted a lot of time and energy being frustrated with the school of my dreams this year and it sucks.

However, I still love it here and I wouldn't trade my Alma experience for the world.

There are also other factors that are making this school year difficult but I am just going to let the living situation out of the bag for now.

I considered blogging about England this evening but...there's always next time. ;)

and yes, that's a wink face on my blog. roll with it.

Also: I feel as if I should put something meaningful on the end of this blog...like a quote of some sort...

Got it.

"We become what we think about." - Earl Nightingale

That's it for now.

Until next time!

100 posts.

yes. this is my 100th post. it is also november, which is my birthday month.

I haven't blogged in a while, due to life getting in the way.

I also told myself that I would blog every day this month, because I saw someone else do it, and figured I could too. But it's now November 3rd so...better late than never.

There's a lot of ground to cover. Let's see...

I didn't blog about England and that is a HUGE amount to cover. I didn't even blog about the alternative break I went on last February that was so life changing and so great.I didn't blog about my summer job at the winery, which was a pretty sweet gig. I haven't blogged about basically anything real pertinent that has been occurring in my life right now.

I haven't blogged about my senior year at Alma College yet and honestly, it hasn't been anything like I expected. It hasn't even been that fantastic or wonderful, like everyone else's senior year's that I've been witnessing, which sounds terrible and heartbreaking but honestly, it is what it is.

Life is what you make it and well...I haven't really been making it lately. I don't exactly know why that is--but maybe it has something to do with the fact that life after Alma scares me. In any case, I have been existing way more than I have been living.

So. I'm trying to change that. I'm not sure how to go about changing it but...I want to change that.

I guess that counts for something, eh?

I'm going to make something happen, because the clock will never stop ticking.

to be or not to be...an adult. that is the question.

Hello readers! (if there are any on this fine June day)

This is my first blog post in approximately 3 months. Let me just begin by saying A LOT has happened in 3 months. Let's see...

• I got bongos for Easter 
• I had this super tight jam session with my friend Craig who plays ukulele AND my sorority sisters thought he was professional and that we sounded like we could go street perform and make money. 
• more trips to Braveheart's. because you can't have the true Alma College experience without at least a trip to Braveheart's. let's be real.
• I survived the rest of my Winter Semester, which was a rough semester 
• I saw Relient K and I have been wanting to see them for YEARS
• I got to see some pretty amazing Alma College seniors graduate
• I got an A in Psychology Research Methods, which was the class that stressed me out the most
• I WENT TO ENGLAND. :D so...that was a pretty big deal and I could probably blog about each day of it (that is, as soon as I find the right words to accurately describe the pure wonderfulness that is England).
• I made it home safely after catching a standby flight to Detroit after my flight to Flint got cancelled and losing my luggage...sort of. 
• I got my luggage back, after American Airlines told me it was gone forever
• I almost had/went to 3 bonfires in a row...so that was some kind of record for me, I think.

so basically, things and stuff happened and I enjoyed things and stuff. that is what you should gather from my list. 

So now...for my post today. My post today has to deal with adulthood. You see, I'm going to be a senior at Alma College next year, which is both exciting and terrifying, and I need to figure some things out. Those things include whether or not I'm going to grad school, what exactly I'm going to grad school for (I think I have it narrowed down to 3 areas--all related to Psychology, mind you), when I'm going to grad school, what I'm doing if I don't go straight to grad school...etc. 

So I got bored and decided to make a list of reasons why I feel like an adult and reasons why I feel like I'm not an adult. here we go.

Reasons Why I Feel Like An Adult

• I drink coffee. That's an adult thing to do, am I right? ;D
• I'm 21 so...I meet the age requirement.
• I'm going to be Maid of Honor in my best friend's wedding next spring. That's usually something you do as an adult. Keyword: usually.
• I looked at grad schools the other day!
• I'm planning a graduation present to myself that involves going back to the UK and possibly Ireland after I graduate...which involves a level of fiscal responsibility and planning an itinerary, which are pretty adult. Plus, I have to plan around the wedding and make sure my Maid of Honor duties are upheld.
• I'm going to the chiropractor because I somehow misaligned some things in my hip/lower back/tailbone region AND I might have a pinched nerve. 

Reasons Why I Don't Feel Like An Adult

• It's past 11 am and I'm still in my pajamas
• I still live with my parents and will be, unless some miracle job happens that allows me to afford rent on an apartment and leaves me with enough money to buy more than just Ramen and Easy Mac for meals
• I'm still an undergrad college student, which I think gives me an inaccurate representation on how life is supposed to be sometimes.
• I currently don't have a job...which sucks, but that's what happened when I decided to go to England for a month and not do an internship with only half of my heart when I returned

Okay. I hope that was at least somewhat interesting, my dear readers. I'm going to post this video that relates to being a grown-up. It's funny, I promise.

Until next time!

If a happy pill without side effects existed, I wouldn't take it.

Because what's the point of feigned happiness?

Such Great Heights

Note: The only reason I titled this post "Such Great Heights" is because I'm listening to this song...except it's the cover by Iron & Wine. If you haven't heard it and are curious, click here. If you've heard The Postal Service version, which is the original, I'm proud of you.

Today, I'm going to blog about one of my favorite classes--English 261, also known as American Literature. I have this class with Dr. Vivian, who is also a writer in addition to being an English professor. Today's class was one of my favorites, I feel. 

and I'm going to explain why.

We were supposed to read this play The Gimmick by Dael Orlandersmith for class today, which is about two children, Alexis and Jimmy, who are growing up in Harlem and trying to follow their dreams. 

Jimmy wants to be as great of a painter as Picasso, while Alexis wants to be a great writer. 

Anyway: both of them want to go to Paris so they can make their dreams fully come true. Dr. Vivian basically described it as a "city of aspiration" for them. Then, he asked us what our city of aspiration was. 

One girl in the class, a Theater/English Double Major, said that her city of aspiration was Chicago, since the people there are so artsy and she just felt at home there. A guy in the class, who's a fraternity member and a musician, said his city was London, since a lot of musicians are coming from there these days. It's true, when you really think about it.

Ed Sheeran got his start in London. (And it's funny, because the guy who wants to go to London is also a ginger, much like Ed is.)

EDWARD. Enough said.

Anyway, how does this relate to me? Well...I've been looking for my city of aspiration for a while now, I just didn't know it. 

My first thought was Memphis, TN, since Memphis is really big for music as well...or it used to be. The first time I went and stayed in Memphis was in January of 2012 and I basically loved it. I even got to venture to the Memphis Drum Shop, which has the biggest cymbal room in the world inside of it! I basically geeked out for a good half hour about the place and dragged my non-percussion friends, Amy and Ashley, inside. 

Luckily, like the good friends that they are, they didn't get annoyed or be like "Erin, we have to get back to the hostel soon so make this snappy." Plus, they took a picture of me being all excited and stuff. 

SO FREAKIN EXCITED.

After I left Memphis, I just really really wanted to go back. Even know, I would seriously up and leave, stay in the hostel we stayed at on the trip, and stay there...forever. 

It would be totally legit.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to return since but when I do, it'll be exciting and I'll likely blog about it or talk about it non-stop. 

Anyway, class today really rekindled this thought of "What if I just went to Memphis and followed one of my dreams that has sort of fallen away from me?" and part of me thinks that this happened for a reason. 

Then, there's the part of me that's all like "ERIN, SNAP OUT OF IT. YOU HAVE COLLEGE TO TEND TO RIGHT NOW."

and that's sort of the unfortunate reality I've found myself in recently.

and I'd be lying if I said it didn't suck sometimes. 

and I'd also be lying if I said I can live without Alma and just leave right now.

But that's not all. After the whole discussion about the city of aspiration, we got on the subject of 'self-invention' and what people have to do, in order to invent themselves. 

I'm not really sure what to say about that right now, since it's a complicated process.

What I do know from my experience is that I haven't fully invented myself yet. In these few years that I've been in college, I've learned so much about myself and I've grown so much. 

However, there is a lot that I have yet to accept about myself and one of these days, I'll get there. It's just going to take time, patience, and more growth on my part. 

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up. 

Peace out. 

I still have a blog...I think

This is basically a "sorry for being a terrible blogger" post.

It's a problem.

College has this way of taking over my life, making me crazy in the best and worst ways, and keeping me away from the simple task of writing out my thoughts and hitting the "publish" button.

But if I love writing so much, why don't I blog more?

That's a question that I don't have an answer for.

However, I've had a lot of ideas lately for writing so perhaps, that's a good sign. I suppose I'll make a little bullet list for those who are curious as to what my life has consisted of lately.

• my fantastic trip to the southwest/Mexico
• caffeine
• listening to my Pandora station
• Phi Sigma Sigma
• ALL the homework for research methods for my psychology major
• visiting my elder
• wanting to go back to Mexico/the southwest
• preparing for my trip to England 
• many, many trips to Braveheart's
• sleep deprivation
• wearing my Baja/"drug rug" for days on end
• not doing my laundry
• seeing old friends
• making new friends
• looking for my silver lining
• dressing up every Monday to make myself feel FABULOUS ;D

and...let's throw a picture in here. because why not.

yes, that's me. in Alma College tartan sunglasses. beat that swag.

kbye. I promise I'll start blogging more and they'll be posts of fantastic proportions.

twenty thirteen is about to get real

So it's 2013, also known as a new year full of untapped potential. (wow, I just sounded like some sort of motivational speaker. oh well.)

Anyway: I don't know about any of you, but I'm so glad that 2012 is over.

but I'm not here to talk about the past... I'm here to talk about the future!

(or 2013, at least.)

I have resolutions that are actually pretty legit and share-able. Actually, it's more like a resolution with three separate parts. Or...it could be considered my mission for this new year. Whatever works.

My new year's resolution is to do more, be more, and see more.

You may wonder how the heck someone goes about doing more, being more, and seeing more.

Don't worry: so do I. That's sort of way I made that my new year's resolution, just to see if I could figure out how to go about it.

Why should I have some exact resolution to do a specific something when I can open myself up to the possibilities of anything?

But...I made a list of possibilities, broken into the categories of do more, be more, and see more. Check it.

1. Do more: As you may know, I'm already in a sorority--better known as Phi Sigma Sigma, I dabble in swing dancing, and most importantly there's this crazy little thing called college that is kinda sorta super important for my future endeavors of being a psychologist or an author or whatever. But there's always more to be done. Always. I decided a few weeks ago to go on another Alternative Break--hopefully, on the one I want to go on. The first one I went on this time last year to the Ronald McDonald House was grrreat so why should I stop with just one? So that's one thing I want to do. I've also decided to volunteer at Masonic  Pathways during this upcoming semester, since I had this project there during my freshman year that had a real impact on my life. I've been wanting to do it for a while--I just made all sorts of excuses as to why I couldn't do it. I'm also traveling to England for Spring Term so that constitutes as doing more as well. 
2. Be more: For this category, I thought about self-improvement and how I could improve upon certain aspects of myself. My thoughts thus far include worrying less about everything more often, being in the present moment more, being more open to change although I dislike it, and being more accepting of myself and less insecure. I also thought of being more of a friend and just being more of a person that people want to get to know, instead of the person who shuts down due to worry of whatever there is to worry about at that moment.
3. See more: As in, seeing more in this life that I've been given and seeing more in the people I'm surrounded by everyday. God gave me a purpose and I intend to utilize it. I feel as if I'm getting closer but I want to continue to work towards whatever that purpose is. I want to continue to appreciate life as best as I can, since it's so precious and you only get once chance to make it or break it. As far as seeing more in people, I want to continue to see the inner good in people, although I must admit that people frustrate me to no end. There are plenty of times that I miss that inner good, and rather than feel guilty about it, I want to avoid missing the inner good altogether. 

I think I'm done. Hopefully, this wasn't too revealing. 

Happy 2013, everyone. Make it count. 

Or as they would say in 2012, you only live once.