Let's get fucked up and die.

Salt and vinegar chips don't taste the same, now that you're gone. Actually, you aren't gone: you are here but not with me and that's harder.

Maybe you're scared and damn it, I'm scared too.

The last time we talked, it was awkward and tense. It was palpable, that tension: that's how bad it was. I've said hi to you since then but you're just so removed. It's hard seeing you this way. It's hard not being able to go up after Chapel and wrap my arms around you, like I've dreamed. It's hard not to run to you and kiss your lips, because I've imagined them soft against mine and beautiful.

You took things slow and I needed that. But you weren't ready for a relationship and that's understandable. I'm still not--it's clear to everyone around me. I fool people by hanging out with guys and talking nonstop about the guys I facebook chat with. I talk the talk of a girl who's been around the block with several but in all honesty, I haven't. I've been waiting for the right guy by making out with and grinding on the wrong guys.

After what happened in May, I haven't felt anything real. I've been wanting something real since then but nothing made me feel that way. I'm sure many people will think I'm crazy for saying this but I don't think I am.

I'm crazy about you. Even though nothing romantically breathtaking took place between us, I just felt something for once in my life. Someday, I'll tell you this.

Just not now.

Let me finish this bag of chips first. Or maybe a few bags of these chips...

But tell me now, where was my fault?
In loving you with my whole heart...
I know that starting over is not what life's about
but my thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear my mouth...
1 2 3 4, tell me that you love me more
I'm miles from where you are
Still it's a shock, shock to your soft side
A falling star, fell from your heart
Took a little time to make it a little better
It's only going up, just one thing and another, you know, you know
The thrill is gone, baby...
When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones
and I will try to fix you

Dear Fall Break,

Hurry up and get here. I'm already going insane and I just really, really, really, want a break. Like now. I'm so impatient for it and I'm sure that everyone I know can tell just by looking at me.

Must. Make. It. To. Wednesday.

Then, I will FINALLY have a break. FINALLY.

I have a feeling I will be eating a homecooked meal followed by sleeping upon arriving home.

Gahh, I'm looking forward to it a little too much...

Kbye. I just gotta keep working hard these next two days and next week will be a breeze.

Yours Truly,

Erin